Undead and Unwed

by Dodie Ownes

Tiffenie is a 300-year old-vampire forced to live within the existence of Tiffany Amanda Blair, whose identity she recently purchased online. You see, this is a very modern vampire story. Undead and Unwed is set in dozens of Hallmark movie tropes—The Fixer Upper, The Perfect Snowy Date, The Bachelor Auction —in a small Vermont town where Tiffany has just inherited a dilapidated country house. But why now, and where is the real Tiffany? Having just lost her job at the plasma bank, Tiffenie picks up and moves with her roommate and newly minted vampire, Heaven, to Valentine to start new lives. Drinking coconut water instead of blood works, to some extent, but a gal can get thirsty, and when handsome Christmas-tree farmer Tyrone appears on the scene, Tiff’s undead body gets hot. Her irksome and devastatingly handsome ex Vlad keeps showing up, offering her eternal princesshood at his side, and decides to stay in Valentine. Everyone in town knows more about Tiffany Amanda Blair than Tiffenie does, and there is the matter of her ex-fiancé’s untimely death and his connection to Tyrone. Tiff’s sessions with the town therapist, during which she tries to convince Dr. Rosetti that she is an actual vampire, are hilarious. When the town inspector threatens to condemn the house that Tiff and Heaven plan to turn into a B&B, he suffers a regrettable injury and starts to dig deeper into Tiffany Amanda Blair. Blackmail, small-town minds, and mean girls meet found family, true love, and Hallmark happiness in this campy, little-bit-steamy, and entertaining tale.

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